December 2009
83 posts
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Granny LOLZ
Dad: Mom, do you want a Corona?
Granny: Maybe, what's a Corona?
Bad Santa!
ajokelife:
My Christmas letter to the north pole has been returned! Santa can’t fulfill any of my Christmas wishes. Rude! I probably won’t see any presents this season and on top of that, he sent me this nasty letter.
Dear Alexander:
I see that you have a boys name, but judging from your letter I will assume you are a lady. I’m sorry dear, I can’t help you with any of your Christmas wishes....
“She’s the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird...”
– (via wearetheweirdos)
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I am so sick, but I really want to have a beer.
This is alcoholism, right?
That hanging thingum at the back of my throat
…has swollen to three times it’s normal size. I can feel it in there and I keep instinctively trying to swallow it like a gob of food.
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Gavin on Aging
“I just really don’t want to get old. Everything is confusing and you don’t look good.”
Fabio: What should I wear? Is there a dress code?
Me: Uhh, no. Wear whatever you want. I am not even showering,
Fabio: Ew, please do.
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